If irritable bowel syndrome is interfering with your sex life, there are things you can do to get your groove back.
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Dan Collins had just started a stressful new job in Thornton, Colorado, when he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome IBSa gastrointestinal condition marked by painful bloatingdiarrhea, gas, and constipation. When Collins moved back to his home state of Maryland, his quest for Ms. Right continued. Over the next two and a half years, Collins had 60 blind dates. I need to use the restroom nowwhile not letting your panic show.
For Collins, diarrhea was his predominant IBS symptom. And if Collins did need to use the restroom on a date, he would try to time it for when his date had to go. On one cringeworthy date, at a Broadway performance of the NutcrackerCollins was holed up in the restroom during the opening curtain. Sex, especially with someone new, can be extra intimidating. What if you have an IBS episode before, during, or after?
IBS may also affect, well, performance.
A study published in December in the International Journal of Impotence Researchfor example, found that men with IBS were more likely to develop erectile dysfunction compared with men without the bowel disorder. These expert strategies can help you connect with confidence.
Is ibs ruining your dating and sex life?
Pick the right time and place. You might find that your date has something he or she has been meaning to tell you, too. Learn relaxation techniques. To get a handle on dating and sex anxiety, moment-by-moment stress management is key. Scheman says.
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There will always be good days and bad days with anything. Would you mind if we stayed in on Saturday night and watched a movie instead of going out? Avoid using your IBS against someone by, say, threatening that if they make you angry it might trigger your symptoms.
You can only control your reactions to it. Seek out counseling if issues persist. With IBS, you may not want to have sex because you feel lousy, have anxiety about going to the bathroom, or have low self-esteem because of the condition.
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Cognitive behavioral therapy CBTa form of psychotherapy that focuses on symptom-related worry, may help. To feel more comfortable, intimate, and sexy in a relationship, talk with your partner about your fears and needs.
If these discussions are too difficult, seek out individual or couples' counseling, preferably with a therapist who has a solid understanding of the brain-gut connection aspect of IBS. Therapy can help you dig deeper to determine why IBS symptoms continue to interfere with your dating and sex life, Scheman says.
A review paper published in Psychology Research and Behavior Management in looked at numerous studies that concluded CBT was effective at relieving IBS symptoms for at least one year after treatment.
Constantly remind yourself of your good qualities. IBS is only part of who you are.
Margolis says. Be on the lookout for someone who is understanding, thoughtful, kind, supportive, and patient. Additional reporting by Ashley Welch.
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Health Topics. Health Tools. Reviewed: July 9, Medically Reviewed. The couple broke up soon after.
