
Emily is a sex and dating crusader. She founded The Red Lipstick Project as a place to talk openly about dating and sex and to connect with other intelligent women who want to find relationships that are as passionate and ambitious as they are. Emily also works with these women as a certified Holistic Health Coach to focus on their health and mindfulness as they go through breakups, job changes and other transitions to feel and look amazing in their own unique bodies.

To share your story or experiences with dating in Portland her at emily emilystraubel. Send an from Emily. I was recently writing out my dating history as an exercise with one of my coaching clients.

I only listened to underground-indie-post-alt-euro-pop-rock and shopped exclusively at Whole Foods. I was snobby about a lot of things, including how, who and when I dated. I understand you. I thought it was beneath me to date online or meet people in bars. And even though I managed to meet a few people at off-the-beaten-path events or through friends, my dating life slowed to a sad trickle and eventually dried out completely.
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I blamed my budding career. And I sort of agree. Yup…at bars.

That is quickly followed up by my second most valuable piece of marketing advice I give businesses. It may not seem ideal to be meeting your future someone in a bar, but get real. I was sitting at a bar the other night and overheard a group of girls in the corner complaining about how they never meet any guys when they go out. I turned around and saw six girls huddled in a dark corner scowling and complaining. You never get approached by men at bars?
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Going out in a group makes it almost impossible for a person to approach you. Stop traveling in large gaggles of girls, or with a group of guys. Show up 30 minutes early to meet a friend and just be alone and approachable. If you run into someone interesting, you have a few extra minutes to get to know them and see if there is a spark. I do this all the time.

It works. I always take a book or notebook with me when I am waiting for a friend.
1. show up 30 minutes early
It takes all the guesswork out of approaching me. Are you a writer? There is nothing more unapproachable than a person lost in her Facebook feed. Your glazed-over eyes and hunched shoulders do not make you look sexy. Yes, it is awkward to sit in a restaurant full of people alone without checking your phone. But you will immediately be the most approachable person in the room.
You are open to new connections and people can see that. Once you get comfortable sitting alone for a few minutes and can resist the urge to check your Instagram, smile at people as they walk by.
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It is incredible how powerful a smile can be. Everyone looks gorgeous when they smile, even if they feel a little ridiculous. That is a proven fact. Again, you will feel awkward at first, but that is because our society has taught us to hide behind technology and fade into the background. You are better than that and the single people in the room will see you and immediately be attracted to your confidence. There is nothing more attractive than someone who looks happy.

Thirty minutes of sitting alone before meeting a friend is enough for one beer. But if you are nervous, it can be enough time for three appletinis. Take it slow on the booze. Order a fun drink that will be a good conversation starter with the bartender and order water.
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And then another water. And another. It will make a great story, but could potentially be a missed opportunity. Everyone is awkward and everyone is a little scared of being the one to start a conversation.
Emily straubel
I was just glad they said something. What I do remember is the chemistry that clicked 15 minutes after we met and how hard they made me laugh.

Start conversations with couples, groups of people, single women and men alike. You might meet your partner, or you might just meet amazing people. This town is full of phenomenal and interesting characters. Network PressHerald. The Weekender up Know what's happening with our weekly newsletter.
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