I was driving down the road in a remarkably rural area. I found myself listening to a station that was one-half talk radio and one-half Christmas music.
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I could live with that. In between holly jolly holiday music, there were brief news bulletins.
But they had an entire talk on dating apps and addiction. Apparently, some professor at an elite university has suggested that sites like Tinder are the equivalent of playing a slot machine. Of course, this statistic was mixed in with one about how more people meet on dating sites than any other way.
This is every single person ever being given advice from friends or supposedly well-meaning family members. Basically, hurry up and find your person now, or someone else will. The thing about statistics is that it takes an average from a wide distribution of people.
How did they come by this information? How did they select participants for this study? What were the demographics? How large was the group of participants? All of these factors matter when it comes to taking the of one study and applying them to our own lives. The same is true for any scientific study.
What matters more is how we feel about the way we go about doing it.
If we love online dating, we should do that, but if it does make us unhappy most of the time, maybe we should stop. Sure, online dating can be addictive. But it can also be depressing and stir up feelings of inadequacy.
Or not working? What do you want?
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It just makes me feel stressed to have to filter so many reprehensible messages to get to the one or two seemingly nice ones. Then those seemingly nice ones become dates, and maybe some of the people who seemed nice are actually crazy. Not fun crazy. Not goofy crazy. Neurotic crazy.
Dangerous crazy. I love romance. If I meet someone along the way, so much the better. But for you, maybe online dating works. Be there for the right reasons. In the meantime, ignore all the stats. Turn off the radio when it starts to expound on the links of depression and low self-esteem to online dating. Tune out the friend who keeps harping on every single person they know who ever met on Match or eHarmony or Plenty of Fish or Bumble.
Just focus on the one voice that matters, the one that speaks softly and is often overlooked:. Your own. Then do that. Former therapist. Author, Heart of Madison series. in. Felicia C. Addicted to Love — or Just to Online Dating.
Addicted to love — or just to online dating
Crystal Jackson Follow. I Love You Relationships now. Dating Relationships Love Self Authenticity. I Love You Follow.
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