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Are you the guy who will give others the shirt off your back and not ask for anything in return? On the flip side, do you find yourself choosing women who take advantage of you, and then feel used and angry as a result? Are you concerned that this everyday people-pleasing holds you back in life? Nice guys habitually push aside their own needs, which ultimately le to a bitter mix of resentment, guilt, and other negative feelings.
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They feel used by relationship partners, and unable to set healthy boundaries. You might find yourself in one-sided relationships by attracting withdrawn, emotionally unavailable women who you see yourself as trying to rescue. They give and give, without getting back, and exhaust themselves in the process.
You may act out of obligation rather than meeting your own wants and needs, but wear a happy face while doing so, even if you're upset inside. In general, you may be dependent on others for validation, and mold yourself into what you think others want for the sake of your own validation and self-worth.
I can help you learn to prioritize and communicate your own needs, and worry less about what others think of you. Where did your impulse for people-pleasing originate? Rather than functioning as a personal flaw, you likely learned these habits while growing up. You might feel hopeless and stuck thinking that this is just who you are. In reality, this is not the case — despite how true these beliefs may feel.
This is a habit you can kick.
Counseling for nice guys
Negative beliefs about oneself are really common for people pleasers, and you can learn how to build positive self-esteem and improve your ability to communicate your needs to others. In our work together, you can develop confidence, and improve your self-esteem.
You will grow accustomed to making clearer decisions for yourself, more quickly, as you recognize what you want. You will achieve a more functional, optimal life.
During our sessions, I will help you learn how to validate yourself. People will be attracted to you because you like yourself, and those that want your people-pleasing approach to friendship may fall out of your life. You can learn to end your passive-aggressive ways, and begin to express yourself, including your frustration and resentment, without fear of rejection. We will work to lessen any anxiety and depression which is directly tied to people-pleasing.
Through therapy, I have helped many guys stand up for themselves, exhibit healthy aggression, and end their self-defeating people-pleasing behaviors for good. I love the process of seeing nice guys make these needed changes in their lives.
I want to see you succeed and develop yourself. I welcome you to take the first step in starting your nice guy or people-pleasing counseling work.
Will it really help me? Counseling for nice guys can help you work through issues that you might have taken for granted.
It does take consistency and real effort on your part, but will often lead to sizable changes and remarkable outcomes that positively improve the rest of your life. Counseling is an investment in yourself.
Ask yourself if you can afford to keep going at your current pace without working on the issues that keep you from having the life that you want. In many ways, counseling can pay for itself.
This is a great question. At times, changes from counseling can disrupt and even end a relationship when your partner has become comfortable with the current one-sided relationship situation.
Because your partner can no longer take from you in an unhealthy way, or treat you in ways that are hurt you, they might express resentment and you may ultimately choose to leave them. Through counseling, you can learn better, healthier relationship patterns that can attract the person who IS right for you.
Counseling For Nice Guys. People-Pleasing Is Learned Where did your impulse for people-pleasing originate?
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